It just so happens that today, the fifth bilunar perigee of the seventh light season's equinox, is the day of this young troll's larval awakening, also known as her wriggling day. Though it was only a little more than seven sweeps ago that she was given life, it is only today that she will be given a name!
"A little more than seven sweeps," for convenient reference, is equivalent to sixteen Earth years.
Earth, also for convenient reference, is a planet that does not yet exist, nor does it matter to this young troll whether it does or not.
What will the name of this young troll be?
> Enter name.
"ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG"
You know, she's actually kind of fond of that. Describes her pretty well.
But nah.
>Try again.
"TORBEN VIEMOR"
That's the ticket.
Your name is TORBEN VIEMOR. As was previously mentioned, today is your WRIGGLING DAY, which in actuality isn't really all that noteworthy nor exciting. It is an anniversary, if anything, to lament the faulty incongruities of your very existence, which is a mindfuck of shameful hostilities and logic-defying sciences.
Anyway, somewhat related to that latter topic, you have a variety of INTERESTS. First and foremost would be your fascination with ESOTERIC MAD SCIENCES, through which the previous statement connects to the former paragraph. You mostly dabble in CHEMISTRY and BIOLOGY, commonly conducting experiments on yourself, or the rotting limbs of your QUASI-SEMI-UNDEAD LUSUS. It's not like she needs them anymore, and hey, you can always slice off replacements from the FREAKY FAUNA that populate the FOREST in which you reside.
If not using these limbs for pursuits of higher knowledge, you may sometimes use their skin and fur to create TAXIDERMY MODELS of things ZOOLOGICALLY DUBIOUS. You're a pretty eccentrically creative youngster, so these models always come outKINDA WEIRD AND CREEPY ARTISTICALLY INTERESTING AND INTELLECTUALLY ENGAGING. One of your many good pals, who is actually your NEIGHBOR, has stated on numerous occasions before that they intimidate and scare her a little. You've never been able to decide if that is a compliment or insult. In fact, you can generally be A BIT SLOW ON THE UPTAKE when it comes to social matters such as that. But you work around it.
Besides, that friend is intimidated by, like, everything anyway.
Speaking of friends, you have A GOOD HANDFUL of those, with whom you like to chat very often, as well as engage in MULTIPLAYER GAMES. You've all been trying out a new chat client beta called TROLLIAN, and you personally are NOT REALLY SURE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT YET. Your trolltag is ghastlyRedivivus and you speak in a manner that is very+casual+almost+to+the+point+of+lackadaisical+bluntness.
Soon, you will play a game with five other friends, and go on a big adventure with them. This game, for convenient reference, is a game that YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT YET.
But you will soon.
"A little more than seven sweeps," for convenient reference, is equivalent to sixteen Earth years.
Earth, also for convenient reference, is a planet that does not yet exist, nor does it matter to this young troll whether it does or not.
What will the name of this young troll be?
> Enter name.
"ZOMBIFIED DOUCHEBAG"
You know, she's actually kind of fond of that. Describes her pretty well.
But nah.
>Try again.
"TORBEN VIEMOR"
That's the ticket.
Your name is TORBEN VIEMOR. As was previously mentioned, today is your WRIGGLING DAY, which in actuality isn't really all that noteworthy nor exciting. It is an anniversary, if anything, to lament the faulty incongruities of your very existence, which is a mindfuck of shameful hostilities and logic-defying sciences.
Anyway, somewhat related to that latter topic, you have a variety of INTERESTS. First and foremost would be your fascination with ESOTERIC MAD SCIENCES, through which the previous statement connects to the former paragraph. You mostly dabble in CHEMISTRY and BIOLOGY, commonly conducting experiments on yourself, or the rotting limbs of your QUASI-SEMI-UNDEAD LUSUS. It's not like she needs them anymore, and hey, you can always slice off replacements from the FREAKY FAUNA that populate the FOREST in which you reside.
If not using these limbs for pursuits of higher knowledge, you may sometimes use their skin and fur to create TAXIDERMY MODELS of things ZOOLOGICALLY DUBIOUS. You're a pretty eccentrically creative youngster, so these models always come out
Besides, that friend is intimidated by, like, everything anyway.
Speaking of friends, you have A GOOD HANDFUL of those, with whom you like to chat very often, as well as engage in MULTIPLAYER GAMES. You've all been trying out a new chat client beta called TROLLIAN, and you personally are NOT REALLY SURE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT IT YET. Your trolltag is ghastlyRedivivus and you speak in a manner that is very+casual+almost+to+the+point+of+lackadaisical+bluntness.
Soon, you will play a game with five other friends, and go on a big adventure with them. This game, for convenient reference, is a game that YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ABOUT YET.
But you will soon.